i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I will die if light touches me.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize