So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
