i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
