She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
