Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
