Me too!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
