Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
