did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize