We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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