i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
