Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
