In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
