Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
