Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Randomize
