I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
