I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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