and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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