he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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