he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize