Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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