u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
