Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
