Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
How naked do you want me to be?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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