I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
