I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
