You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
