I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
