Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
