I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
