Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
