Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
