Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
