it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
