this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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