Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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