Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
