I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize