ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
