Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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