Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Terrible idea I love it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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