She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
