everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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