Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
