Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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