the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Someone shattered a urinal.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
