It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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