its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dignity is for republicans.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
