Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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