The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
