She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
