Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.

Fav 2 982 1275
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(386): View more from Florida

I wanna passion pit in your ass

Fav 27 959 2024
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(828): View more from North Carolina

just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.

Fav 26 12579 1078
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.

Fav 19 7103 1443
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(620): View more from Kansas

my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts

Fav 30 4724 1466
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(856): View more from New Jersey

When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.

Fav 10 1207 4025
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(917): View more from New York City

And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.

Fav 19 6067 2042
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(310): View more from California

She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL

(310): View more from California

so no, not her best night

Fav 6 1031 2264
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(210): View more from Texas

God gave you your own nipples for a reason.

Fav 0 52 6
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