you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
