A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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