everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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