i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
