We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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