HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize