Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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