It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
