Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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