Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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