We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
