gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
