remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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