Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Even my vagina gasped.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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