I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dignity is for republicans.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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