I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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