..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
