I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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