I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
