they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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