i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
