yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
